Have you ever been told something was going to happen and then it just never came to pass? Well as far as you were concerned, anyway. This is what the last 12 years has been for me. Twelve years ago, I was transformed, changed in an instant by a touch from God.
Yea, I said it…God touched me. He touched me and changed me from the foul mouthed, dirty joke telling, occasional drug user, women’s power, angry, self-centered, lost, unsatisfied, bleh, bleh, bleh creation that I was in ONE INSTANT. Thirty seconds to be exact but it was the most wonderful thirty seconds of my life. But that is not why I am paralyzed by obedience.
I am paralyzed because I want so bad to be obedient that I don’t want to move out in faith as it may be the wrong “obedient” step….CRAZY! I am disobedient by my own dog gone obedience. Ok, you can stop shaking your head…some of you know what I am talking about or you will at some point.
Someone who is becoming an important person in my life just talked to me (and about 50 other women) on Monday night about Hope….Hope is what moves us forward into FAITH, it is the precursor to Faith.. Duhhhh….maybe some of you ladies got that years ago….I am in the boom boom class sometimes when it comes to getting the easy stuff.
Lucky for us, there was at least one very important woman in the Bible that didn’t get the whole obedience thing initially which gives me HOPE! Sarah is known as a woman of obedience, even to a fault, she obeyed Abram even though they received promises from God that their descendents would be as many as the stars when they lied to Pharaoh to save their skins. But thank you GOD, that you make a way for us to come back into relationship with you after we fail. God offered Sarah an opportunity to have HOPE again which enabled her to take a step in faith and believe the promise that was given to Abram and herself. Our faith moves God. He wants us to be in relationship with Him.
So here is where I get out of the boat, step out of the tent, pick up my mat and walk. That same wise, woman told me, “Christina, don’t wait for a platform, get out there and take the first step in faith.” That is what I am doing. I am seeking God, and being obedient in faith by beginning this blog. I may never have even 5 followers (LOL) but I have a lot to say, God has blessed me so many times and is so evident in my crazy, lunatic, spastic, unworthy life that maybe by my testimonies, and words spoken in that soft, sweet voice to me I may reach even one woman (or man :D) for God’s Kingdom…..that makes it all worth it.
As for me and my keyboard….I will serve the Lord.
I totally understand what you are saying. I too have been paralyzed by obedience. I do not want to make a mistake and wait to get clear direction from the Lord. You are right. Sometimes we need to talk that step in faith to get moving.